Saturday, December 20, 2014

happy birthday, simon!

to think that a year ago phil and I were getting into the car to head to the hospital to await the birth of this little man! I had been laboring in bed and the contractions were coming faster and I waddled to the car, in between the waves, in my boots, sweatpants, and a tie-dye shirt I made in high school. it was snowing outside and quiet cold but I still had my head hanging out the window the mile or so to the hospital because labor, wow, that was a pretty warm experience. with all the sweating and all the gatorade I consumed, you'd think it was a sport. I mean, let's have my people talk with your people, nike, because next time I'm about to have a baby I should get a shoe deal or something.

I talk much more in detail about simon's birth here, but I remember after his arrival that this feeling of being overwhelmed by love and fear came upon me. all of a sudden, here is someone who is so dependent and full of need that we have been given the opportunity to love and nurture and nourish and clean and sanitize and comfort and dress and diaper and q-tip and read to and secure in safety seats and not leave alone and on and on. with simon, we are his parents for the rest of forever and it's beautiful and it's daunting. but, being a parent, I think, is one of those strange but beautiful life contradictions - it is hard, but it is uniquely wonderful and special. the love you feel is like when someone tickles you and you laugh and laugh until you cry because it is too much for your body to handle. this love is beyond the capacities of my body, and it is incredible and scary to be so vulnerable because of this little person.

happy 1st birthday to my silly, smiley, surprising, and sweet simon.
you are loved.