Sunday, June 22, 2014

the fathers I celebrate (a belated father's day tribute)

my boy's dad
I hadn't even heard the crying that first awoke phil two nights ago around 3:30am, but when I opened my eyes I saw him gently re-swaddling simon and then holding him close while he wimpered. a bottle, expressed earlier, was warming in water and I watched through the dark as phil retrieved the bottle, fed si back into sleep, and then came back into bed. I gave him a hug before we both fell back asleep. for the past few weeks now, phil has done this every night since I have had to wake up early for runs or teaching. sometimes I'll hear simon first and go to him, but phil will tell me to go back to sleep and that he'll "do it this time."  nearly two years ago we began this journey together as a pair and I never imagined how he would become this incredible, aware, hands-on, devoted gentle dad.
I love him so much.
^^ morning hair makes for fro-phil

my dad
seriously, I couldn't have wished on the most faraway star for a better dad. he would make us oatmeal in the mornings and sprinkle "snow" on it when we were little. he came to our soccer games, coached our teams, came to tennis matches, wind ensemble concerts, church events, musicals we performed in, and has always just been there. he is a present parent. there. you know? I think that's how dad shows his love to us. and, I always felt that he wanted to be there too. he would traverse snow, ice, fog (oh, the lake arrowhead fog!!), and miles to come and pick us up late at night and he would jokingly complain but I always knew that he wanted to make sure we were safe and happy. dad would drive me to school every morning my last two years of high school on his way to work and we'd listen to "we built this city" by jefferson starship every time. have you ever really listened to the words of that song? it's nutso! but, we knew them all by heart and it was crazy and repetitive but it was this morning pump-up and, in the end, it was as though it was our song and I loved that something belong to just dad and me.
^^ my dad in his very happy place

my handsome's dad
yesterday morning, monroe watched simon as I ran my half marathon (and phil was on a scout trip), and when we came back to pick him up, I found monroe sitting on the ground with simon laying on his back. he was singing and simon was laughing and wiggling. I didn't want to interrupt the moment and watched their interaction from across the room. as I did, I felt this surge of gratefulness that this wonderful man, the father of my sweet husband, loved my child and wanted to spend his time with him. monroe is so kind and incredibly thoughtful. you can see that he wants everyone around him to feel good about themselves, feel validated and worthwhile.  

1 comment:

  1. What a beautiful tribute. I just love how you express your thoughts and feelings, Laurel!