Friday, April 11, 2014

today I'm thinking...

...that sometimes I am too hard on myself. it's always the same reflections: I didn't put in enough effort. I slacked off. I didn't use my time well. I didn't prepare as I should have. I put something aside until the last minute and am now reaping the less-than-desirable consequences. how do I find balance in not being too hard on myself while still maintaining certain exceptions? should I aspire less? lower my expectations? those don't seem like the right answers to me. how do you reconcile believed personal capacity to what you actually produce?  how do you let go of the guilt that comes when you do fall short of what you knew you could do but did not do?

... that those homemade thin mints are going to be a part of every meal today. they're almost gone and, you know, that was a full stick of butter. and now it's in me. well, phil ate one, so that brings it down to, like, 1/2 a stick? I shouldn't think this way. I should just think, "THIN MINTS!"

... about white and black and gold and how to incorporate so much more of those colors into decorating. and felt balls. I need to incorporate more felt ball garlands.

...that I cry too easily and say sorry too much. I got a not-so-wonderful grade on a rough draft of a term paper and ended up having to hold back the tears when discussing it with the professor. he was so kind and afterwards I felt silly. laurel, laurel, laurel. there's no drama. no one died. reel it in, mama.

...about the blossoms outside and how grateful I am that spring is here and that I can wear the birks without socks. because when I wear them with socks, I look like my high school physics teacher. he was awesome though, so it's a win-win. but, the toes are thankful for the air.

1 comment:

  1. I hope you were thinking about all the good you have done in the world today! Put on your eternal perspective spectacles and then you will see what really matters. Term papers, not so much.. Thin mints even less so. What really matters is the wonderful wife, mother, daughter and friend you are to so many... And most importantly your divine nature... you are a Daughter of God and he loves you, and I know you love Him. I find it always helps to count my blessings AND name them one by one! Sister Fernsten