Tuesday, October 21, 2008

on joy

i was thinking about something today biking home from school. the wind was blowing especially hard and the autumn leaves on all the trees were literally raining from the sky! it was one of those small moments that confirms in my being that life is overwhelming beautiful, and consistently so in the most petite of ways; in vermilion leaves dropping from a branch.

i think that lately i have been so impatient for what the impendingly lovely future holds that i have lost a bit of my grasp on the loveliness that surrounds me daily in this Utahan home of mine. but today, thankfully, i came back to myself. don't get me wrong, the next few years of life are going to be ones that i hold dear forever, they will indeed, but right now, this very moment as the smirking moon is beginning to rise over the mountains outside my window, i am at peace; oh, i am happy.

i firmly believe that in embracing the smallest and perhaps the most banal of moments in life, searching within each of them for beauty, this life experience becomes sweeter and more inwardly rewarding. when we see that there is goodness and pure splendor in so very much more than we would have allowed ourselves to see before then we are growing closer and closer to attaining that personal, earthly nirvana that we are all seeking: happiness. i have come to realize more and more that i need to discover and appreciate anew the unadorned lovelies that surround me, find the brilliance lying in the commonplace, the trite, the ordinary; the things that we perhaps do not even give an afterthought to. for i feel that this is where i will constantly be able to find joy.

"one wanted, she thought, dipping her brush deliberately, to be on a level with ordinary experience, to feel simply that’s a chair, that’s a table, and yet at the same time, it’s a miracle, it’s an ecstasy." (virginia woolf, "to the lighthouse")

hymn #92 comes to mind...

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